I realized last night that it has been a month since I was diagnosed withMS. It doesn't feel like it's been that long. I compare it to the two months I lived through prior to the diagnosis. Those two months felt like a lifetime. I shed so many tears, had many sleepless nights and felt complete hopelessness.
This month, my first month knowing I have MS has been easier. Knowing is so much easier than the dark thoughts of the unknown for those two months.
It would have been easier if it was something curable and preventable, but it is what it is and I have to accept the cards I have been dealt. I still find that in this month, because I have my diagnosis, a wonderful family doctor and great support system I can handle it. I no longer feel complete hopelessness. I still on occasion shed a few tears, but its no longer overwhelming sadness. I have sleepless nights, but not because I am terrified and thinking about the dark thoughts. The sleeplessness comes from the medication my body is getting used to. The medication that is going to length the time I have in my life that is free from disability.
Unfortunately along with the flu symptoms that keep me up every other night, the medication is also making the symptoms of my attack worsen. Luckily I have talked to the wonderful RN at the MS Clinic who prepared me for this. My right hand has a little less feeling than last week, and the numbness is my left hand is increasing.
I was prepared and expected this, but its still hard to have it happen.
Luckily I have so much positive to focus on. Our Steak Night is tomorrow night and the support is overwhelming. We have sold over 100 tickets and have been given so many donations for wonderful raffle prizes.
I am so fortunate to be contributing towards to the hope of one day ending MS. This has been a good month, I have helped raise almost $2,000.00. I am hopeful the next month will bring even more good things.
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