I told my first born, my very young 16 year old that if he cannot respect our family and our rules that he can no longer live here.
I am a little impatient and impulsive and I have said things that I regretted and didn't really mean. Things that I wished I could have taken it back.
This isn't one of those.
I realized today as I sat in a training course where I did not absorb even half of what I was taught and had a few tears escape me, that while I wish I didn't have to say those words they had to be said.
He was home for less than 48 hours and I tried....I REALLY REALLY tried. I think that made it that much harder because while I wasn't ready to give up and throw in the towel the realization that it was no longer an option hit me. Austin is angry, defensive, manipulative and he doesn't even hear, really hear the way he says things to me anymore.
It goes against every instinct I have to let him go.
I said it....now please let me have a happy family again.
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