My needle days are my 'good days'. The injections are right before bed, but the entire day before I inject I feel good. There is no soreness, achy muscles, sore jaw, tender red injection spot, nauseousness, or headache.
Within 20 minutes of my injection my 'bad days' start. The first symptom is the sore achy jaw and head, then in the middle of the night I get the chills and shakes. Actually standing up is a task because of the weakness. The bad continues when I wake in the morning. There is no rhyme or reason to how long the side effects last, some days I feel better by 11am, other days it lasts so long I begin to wonder if I really have the flu.
It is such a stark comparison between the good and the bad that I feel. I want to do as much as I can because I don't know how bad the bad day is going to be. I find myself watching the clock as the injection time gets closer knowing it is going to bring the bad. I get scared thinking of the stories of people who have injected for years and suffered the side effects the whole time.
Isn't it enough that I wake each morning without feeling in my right hand?
Isn't knowing there is no cure and that one day I may have my second attack enough bad in my life for now?
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