A Day In The Life...

In the last month my life has changed so much.
I used to be the first out of bed at 6am, I showered, styled my hair, put on makeup, picked from a decent selection of work clothes and then took the time to wear some coordinating pieces of jewelery.
Mornings are no longer early out of bed. Mornings are the worst time of day for me. The tingling and swelling sensation is at it's worst. The first few steps out of bed are awkward. My morning shower has been lengthened as I am no longer able to easily shampoo my hair with my clumsy left hand.
There is no styling of the hair. I am not even able to put a ponytail in anymore. That realization came this weekend with a huge melt down of tears. Luckily my husband understood the important of that ponytail and helped me. There is no more makeup and the selection of clothes is much smaller since there can be no buttons or zippers. And heading out the door with the kids has done a complete role reversal. I used to do up their jackets and now they help me with my zippers.

There is no more going to work. I miss the social aspect and I also miss the work. Now no matter what I do I constantly have this fear running through my mind. I spend time organizing help with kids activities that I can no longer do like tying skates or putting hair into a ponytail for swimming. I also rest a lot more, because of what heavily weighs on my mind often keeping me awake at night.
I love the companion I have in the family dog, Layla. She is a good snuggler but not a great conversationalist.
Another change in my life is the fact that I am keeping such a huge part of my life from my Mom. I find myself avoiding telephone calls with her. Not only am I not telling her just exactly what is going on, I am lying to her and to my grandma. They both think I have carpal tunnel and am having surgery. It is hard to fake it when this health issue is consuming so much of my life. I have made the decision not to share this with them until I know more.

While I was typing this out I realized there are still similarities in my days. I still tuck my kids in bed and kiss them goodnight. I still laugh with my friends. I still do laundry and cook, but now with much help from my family. I still sit at the table and eat supper with my family and listen to everyones "favorite part of their day".

A day in the life, some of mine has changed but there are still things that remain the same