Therapy

I realized today after typing a reply to a dear friend struggling in her marriage that it is easier it give advice than it is to take those words to heart in your own life.
As I typed I realized I have this uncanny connection to this friend I have never physically met. She is my kindred spirit.
As I was telling her to fight for her marriage I realized that her disease hasn't taken things away from her but it has changed how she lives her life. She also has to realize (and so do I) that her husband is also going through some significant changes. Being faced with life changing news is not only hard for the patient but also the entire family.
There are stages of grief, but the grieving isn't just for a death. Grief has to be dealt with in many areas of your life; divorce, death and illness are all processes that need to be worked through.

I was so caught up in remaining positive and determined not to let MS change my life that I forgot how hard this must be for the rest of my family. 8 years ago when my husband said his vows he never envisioned we would be here today. He needs deal with all the emotions just as I do. There is anger, denial, mourining. Just as my thinking and the way I live my life has changed his has too. I have to not only acknowledge that, I have to work WITH him to get past this.
We are a team and I have to remember working as a team isn't a sign of weakness or that I am incapable. It means I have a loving husband and together we are stronger and more determined than me alone.