My Mom came for a visit this weekend. I was very anxious about the visit. I was embarrassed to admit my reasons. I love my Mom, but looking at her in her wheelchair, getting assistance from homecare aides daily, not being able to lift her leg, it was a much darker side of MS. Top that constant in my face with my Mom's usual negative and demanding demeanor and now you see why I was anxious.
Surprisingly the visit went far better than I had expected. I am not going to say it was easy having the constant reminder of my disease, but the nice talks we had, the kids spending time with Grandma, it made it alright. I also noticed that my Mom's attitude has softened. She is less demanding, more thankful. She seems more content with life now.
The hardest part of the visit was how it affected me physically. Transferring my Mom from wheelchair to chair, helping her in and out of the car and up and down the stairs has me tired and sore. My right arm has a heavy numb feeling that I didn't have last week. My neck is stiff and sore and I have more pain in my wrist.
As a daughter I need to speak up more to my Mom. As an MS patient I need to make sure I take care of myself first and foremost.
I will certainly plan another visit for my mom, but I will make sure neither of us do anything to jeopardize our health.
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