Scattered

Not much of a blogger lately and since it is a little bit of therapy for me I am sorely missing it.  I have so many 'things' going on right now.  Not just things but thoughts and issues.
I knew this morning when I woke up with a very tender scalp (scalp psoriasis) caused from stress that I haven't been dealing as well as I was pretending I was with this things. 
It's always so easy to just say that everything is fine.  As I was driving my daughter to her first day of high school I was thinking about the things in my life that I have to change.

I still really need to work on the regrets I have with my Dad passing away.  I feel such guilt that I didn't spend as much time with him that I should have, that I didnt tell him I loved him every chance I get.  It's over a year and so much of my thoughts are consumed with the regrets.

The weekend visit with my Mom was hard on me.  Physically it was hard helping her transfer in and out of the car/wheelchair, helping her up the stairs etc.  Emotionally it was even harder.

The rest of these 'things' in my life that are scattered might not seem like big things when you look at it one piece at a time, but Im holding the whole bag of things.  I have to deal with all the responsibilities that come with my Mom...the housing application, banking, Canada Revenue etc.  I have to deal with all the paperwork for the insurance benefits for the kids, the booking of appointments, paying of our bills, registrations at schools and all the extracurricular activities.  Then I have the child support spreadsheet and all the expenses and tracking that I have to do for my ex-husband.
I could go on with the things but just writing them gives me that anxious feeling in my chest.