Mortality

Wow, 20 years ago the word never crossed my mind.  Unfortunately I have learned a lot about mortality over the past 20 years.  Recently the lessons have gotten a lot harder. 
This week my Mom, the last living parent that I have, is in the hospital suffering from complications from her congestive heart failure.  Just three short months ago she was admitted for the same reason.  The visits are being more and more frequent and it scares the hell out of me.
My Mom is not a healthy woman, I am not in denial about that.  She is a 61 year old woman suffering from congestive heart failure and MS.  She has a mechanical valve in her heart, has severe rheumatoid arthritis and osteoporosis.  She has limited ability to walk with a walker but spends much of her time in a wheelchair.  She has a permanent catheter due to the complications from MS.  Just reading about her medical problems written in black and white scares me.

I have experienced death in many packages.  I have lost young friends tragically and suddenly.  I have lost family after a long and painful battle with cancer.  I have also lost a father very suddenly.  I spend far too much time thinking about mortality. 
There is no easy way to think about it, there is no 'consolation' as they say.  Mortality sucks and the fact that my Mom is faced with her health crisis' and I am there to help look out for her, means that I have an even closer look at mortality.


I'm not sure who if any reads this blog but I am asking everyone to say a little prayer for my Mom.  While I am all to aware the meaning of mortality I dont want to be faced with it yet again.