Change

For months I yearned to return to work to fill the void of my social circles and strengthen my feelings of self worth and purpose.  Now that I've been back for over a month I realize the seasons have changed. I still yearn to succeed, after 18 years as a sasktel employee it is very much a part of my life.
I'm completing my job duties, albeit at a slower pace and to the disappointment and sometimes disapproval of others.
 The relationships I had with coworkers have changed.  I no longer feel that connection and am not a part of some of the socializing......for 10 months I wasn't here, I understand.  It still makes me feel sad and disconnected.

My life is different now.  I can't keep the pace I had before.  I need to be aware of my fatigue.  I am selfconcious of the clumsiness I have eating, writing, holding things.  Then there is my bladder issues, which I can barely speak of on my blog, I cannot share this with coworkers. 

I'm proud of where I am and what I am doing with what I have. I need to focus on the good, the accomplishments. And remember MS or no MS I contribute and have a purpose.