My husband the musician is learning some new acoustic songs in his band. This weekend he treated me to a sampling of the different songs he was interested in learning. One song in particular hit home.
He showed me The Verve's song The Drugs Won't Work. As it was playing he told me how this song reminds him of MS and my needles. He said it is so hard for him to see what the drugs do to me and not being able to do anything. He also has a good understanding of the purpose of these drugs, but he hears so many people ask me the same questions about the medication. "Are the drugs making you feel better?". "When are you going to know if they are working?"
That's the thing with the disease modifying drugs. There is a lot of unknowns. We aren't going to now if the drugs won't work or if my body just isn't going to have another attack for 5 years. And unfortunately there is no drug I can take that will bring the feeling that I've lost in my right side back. I just have to have patience and hope that in time the feeling will come back. I also have to hope that while the drugs still make me feel bad that they are working to keep my next attack away, very far away.
I hate how this disease has affected not just me but my whole family. But I am so thankful that my husband is with me through all of this, trying to understand and always supporting me.
In less than 5 weeks Bob and I will be flying to Synergy Health Concepts in California for the CCSVI. And god willing the drugs, the CCSVI procedure, the diet, the exercise and lifestyle change will be enough so that it won't matter if the drugs won't work.
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