I had to say goodbye to my Grandpa. The funeral was beautiful and the readings that everyone contributed really showed what a wonderful person he was. Each of his grandchildren wrote wonderful memories about a great grandpa. I would like to say I handled it fine, but I had my moments. Like reading the obituary where my Grandpa was predeceased by his son (my Dad). That was hard reading it in black and white. Hearing all the thoughts about he is in a better place and back with Grandma and my Dad.
I didn't want my Dad to be up there yet. I wanted my Dad to be the 88 year old Grandpa that had 14 great grandchildren and whose eyes lit up when they visited him. I selfishly wanted all those moments of watching my Dad grow older and holding his hand as he ages and becomes frail. I wanted the funeral home to be filled with his grown children and his elderly friends and family. I wanted them to say that he was at peace and healthy and that he had lived a long wonderful life. I feel bad for having these thoughts, but more than anything I ache for the time me and my children were cheated out of with my Dad.
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