Deck The Halls

Christmas is quickly approaching.
It feels much quicker because of the hectic schedule we have over the next few weeks. With a ringette tournament out of town this weekend and another one next weekend, Austin's birthday, and the 4th Bob and I leave on our CCSVI trip we decided to put up our artificial Christmas tree this week. The little kids are very excited and look forward to decorating it with all the special ornaments we have collected over the years.

I took it upon myself to set up the tree today. Doing the prep work of arranging the branches and plugging the lights in isn't the part the kids usually get excited about. But I do. I found myself anxious to put a little more holiday spirit into the house.
I had forgotten for a moment that this was my first Christmas with MS. As I put the tree together and manipulated the branches I was quickly reminded. My clumsy and almost useless right hand is frustrating for so many things. Putting up the Christmas tree is just another one of the many things.
As I was decking the halls I starting think about wrapping gifts, writing out cards, using scissors to cut the paper, putting on the name tags and bows. These are things I can't do, or if I do they will look nothing like they did last year or the many years before.

Over the past few months I have accepted what I can't do, but each day I'm reminded of a new thing that I can no longer do like I used to I get so sad. I know I need to focus on the things I can still do and be thankful for them, but right now I need a few moments to be sad for what I can't do anymore.