16 years

"The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it."

I've been studying and researching disease modifying drugs and the CCSVI procedure.  I recently read about a study on the disease modifying drugs that I am currently on.  The study showed that the drugs did not slow down the progression of the disease.  Both groups, those being treated with drugs and those without had an average of 16 years before they required a cane or assistance with mobility. 

16 years?  Technically I have 15 1/2 years left.  I want more than 16 years.  I think about the fact that I will be 53.  More importantly I think about my oldest being 34 abd my youngest being 20.  I dont want to be that Mom (or Grandma)

I have taken up running.  I have a constant motivator...my disease.  Each day that I can still take those steps is a day to be thankful for.  I have also started to consider doing a 5K race.  Im not a fast  runner but I want to be able to say I have tried and accomplished this.  Running keeps me healthy and ahead of my disease.

I now need to start looking seriously at the CCSVI treatment.  I dont want to wait until I am disabled to the point of being unable to walk.  I need to face the fears of having this procedure done.  I also need to face the guilt of spending so much of our families savings in order to have this done.  Logically I know the procedure is invaluable to me and my entire family, but I know I would feel tremendous guilt.