Monday

The side effects from my needle were better than usual this week.  I figured by the afternoon I was feeling well enough to go for a run. 
I couldn't have attempted a more pathetic run if I tried.  I hit the 1km mark and I had to surrender.
Instead I took a nice long walk and thought about my yoga class that talked about my 'today body'. 
I tried not to get down by my body failing on me.  I am still fortunate that I can walk and enjoy the runs on my good days. 

But it did get me thinking....what if I reach a point where it is more than just Mondays where my body is not ready?   Im not ready for that.

That Little Voice

I run because its my happy place. 

I run because it makes me stronger.

I run because I love my life.

I run because it quiets that little voice inside me,the one that used to scream "You have MS" 

I run because I still can. 

Happy Father's Day

Sunday was fathers day.

This is my third Father's Day without my Dad, and almost 4 years since I said goodbye to my Dad.

I have been thinking a lot lately about the regrets I have with my Dad. I didn't tell him I loved him and I didn't thank him for everything he did for me and everything he was to me.
I can't change that and that is a source of a lot of regret. 

So while I spent today celebrating and appreciating my husband who is a wonderful father to our children, I also shed a few tears for the Dad that I miss more than ever.
But I promise to live my life differently.  I want those I love to know I love them, appreciate them and just how important they are to me. 

The Girl In The Mirror

I was in line at Bath & Body Works last week waiting to pay for my purchase and I caught sight of someone with hair colour that I liked.....I realized that it was my reflection. 

It has been over a year and a half since I reached the 80lbs lost.  What I haven't been able to do yet is accept the reflection in the mirror.  My self image has not caught up to the physical changes.  I dont know when or if that will ever happen. 

I feel healthier, but when Im looking at clothes my first instinct is not to go to the size 6 or 8 clothes, but still without thought go to the size that I used to be. 
I'm beginning to wonder if the picture in my mind is ever going to match real life. 

How many years is it going to take for me to keep the weight off before I can stop living in fear that this is just temporary?  How long will it take until I recognize the girl in the mirror??

My "Mini Me"

As I watch my 8 year old daughter, McKinley, I realize that I am influencing her much more than I ever imagined.  And what's even more surprising is that most of it isn't by what I tell her but by her seeing me live my life. 

It reminds me of the quote:

“My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it”
― Clarence Budington Kelland

I have told McKinley a lot of things, but I find the biggest lessons that are lasting for her have been from what she has seen me do.  She is much more aware of the benefits of being active and making healthy choices and that is because she has watched me.  She makes healthier food choices, even reads the labels on the packages now. 
I'm proud of her.    I see the mini me in the mornings when she tries to match her outfit, hairstyle or jewelry to mine.  I even notice when I hear her speak and she has the same tone as me and sometimes even uses a direct quote of something I have said.  While I am so very proud I also have to be careful that I set a good example for my mini me.

10 Years From Now

This is a great question to think about.  Instinctively I do not like change.  I think that is probably the norm with most people.  This is a great way of looking at it from another point of view.

Recently my husband, despite the fear of change, took the steps to make sure his career would not be exactly the same 10 years from now. 
He was not happy, but had spent 15 years doing exactly the same thing.  I think it takes courage and drive to take those steps and I'm proud to be married to a smart and successful husband who is making the change.  It is still early, but I can already tell that aside from some of the scary unknowns he is happier. 
Our entire family is benefiting from his happiness.  All because he overcame his fear of change.