After a night filled with little sleep I am struggling today. It hs reminded me how important a good nights rest is for a peron with MS, or at least for me.
The reason I had such little sleep was due to my MS so things get tricky, making it a bit of a vicious cycle.
The sleeplessness was due to one of the harmless but crazy symptoms of my MS. Itching and numbness plagued me into the wee hours.
I knew better this time then to wake up my husband and have him check repeatedly for a rash. It was my brain being tricked by the lesions from my disease. It had me up scratching my neck and chest most of the night. It does calm me slightly having been through this before, knowing I am not going crazy.....knowing that it will pass. Those thoughts kept me calm as I laid awake and itched.
What they did do was make me very tired this morning. I notice I am slower in moving today, slower in thinking, my hands are colder than usual, coordination is worse, tremors are more noticable and my numbness increased because of my fatigue.
Because I was calm but wide awake I was able to do a lot of thinking. Got a lot of productivity done in my head with To Do lists etc. And I also thought a lot about my Mom. We went to visit her on Saturday. The visit was a really nice visit for the kids and me. Because of my optic neuritis and the busy return to school schedule etc, it was a month since the last visit. I was saddened because I was able to quickly see how much more the MS has taken from her. Her right hand is no longer able to move at all. Her fingers now formed into a crippled and dysfunctional mass. What did stick out in my memory from our visit is her comment, "I can print and eat with my left hand now."
What's awesome is that in the midst of everything that this disease has taken from my Mom, she is able to tell me what she can still do. Or even better, what she has learned to do inspite what the disease has taken.
So proud.
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