In the shower I do some of my best thinking.
This morning I was thrown by the turn of events.
My thoughts from this morning:
I have so much to do before the company arrives.
I should ask my Dad to bring his tools and take a look at the shower drain that needs some repair.
At that point the tears came. They flowed freely. They mixed with the water from the shower and as I stood there and cried I realized it is ok not to be happy all the time and while I know my Dad wouldn't want me to be sad all the time, I think it is alright to be sad and take a moment and embrace that sadness.
This morning I embraced the sadness of my 2nd Christmas without my Dad.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
The Good Things (ADHD)
I have been thinking about ADHD a lot lately. My 17 year old has Attention Deficit Disorder. I hate the term. Deficit is defined as 'an inadequacy or insufficiency'. I am one of those positive people that always sees the cup as half full. I look for something good in everything no matter how difficult that may be at times. Deficit immediately has a negative connotation.
I have dealt with my son's 'deficit' for 10 years. I have listened to my close friends talk about their children's ADD and even some of their own personality traits as suffering from this deficit of ADD.
I want so much to tell my son and all of those people looking at ADD as an insufficiency or deficit that they need to spend a few minutes thinking about the positive traits of ADD.
My son at a very early age was an out of the box thinker. I remember in grade 2 his teacher showed me the class drawing they did of a still life portrait. Each one of the children in the class drew the vase and apple very similar, except Austin. His picture was through the eyes of a child who they labelled as having a deficit. The picture couldnt have been farther from the truth. His picture was very unique and showed so much of what others didn't even notice, but stood out to him. He saw what others didn't but was right in front of them.
The energy and drive that Austin has is intense to say the least. When motivated and interested in something he puts his all into it. Inattentive is hardly accurate when you describe something that interests him. He will focus intently, to the point of being oblivious to all else around him. Sometimes these intense thoughts will consume him and he will share those thoughts with others around him. I have learned more about hockey player statistics, drafting autocad terms that I ever thought possible. It is so good to see him take something like that and show such passion.
I think about the other traits that often follow this deficit:
The list of these traits are endless. As I write them down I realize there is so much good within my son. ADD needs to be looked at as an advantage defined by unique characteristics. ADD is a trait not a disorder or deficit. I am not in denial and I completely realize that there are issues that my son and others face because of these characteristics, These characteristics make up who they are and the ADD is part of who they are. Instead of focusing all our energy on how to deal with the negative traits of ADD, we need to spend some time appreciating the positive traits of ADD.
Most importantly share those thoughts.
I promise to make sure Austin and others I know with ADD know how much I appreciate their unique characteristics, I think the world of them and wouldn't change a single thing.
I have dealt with my son's 'deficit' for 10 years. I have listened to my close friends talk about their children's ADD and even some of their own personality traits as suffering from this deficit of ADD.
I want so much to tell my son and all of those people looking at ADD as an insufficiency or deficit that they need to spend a few minutes thinking about the positive traits of ADD.
My son at a very early age was an out of the box thinker. I remember in grade 2 his teacher showed me the class drawing they did of a still life portrait. Each one of the children in the class drew the vase and apple very similar, except Austin. His picture was through the eyes of a child who they labelled as having a deficit. The picture couldnt have been farther from the truth. His picture was very unique and showed so much of what others didn't even notice, but stood out to him. He saw what others didn't but was right in front of them.
The energy and drive that Austin has is intense to say the least. When motivated and interested in something he puts his all into it. Inattentive is hardly accurate when you describe something that interests him. He will focus intently, to the point of being oblivious to all else around him. Sometimes these intense thoughts will consume him and he will share those thoughts with others around him. I have learned more about hockey player statistics, drafting autocad terms that I ever thought possible. It is so good to see him take something like that and show such passion.
I think about the other traits that often follow this deficit:
- good judge of character
- sense of humour
- quick to grasp essentials
- flexibility
- intuitiveness
- sensitive to surrounding environment
- enthusiastic, passionate
- forgives mistakes
- tries to do better next time
- willing to take risks
- charming personality, warmheartedness
- determined
The list of these traits are endless. As I write them down I realize there is so much good within my son. ADD needs to be looked at as an advantage defined by unique characteristics. ADD is a trait not a disorder or deficit. I am not in denial and I completely realize that there are issues that my son and others face because of these characteristics, These characteristics make up who they are and the ADD is part of who they are. Instead of focusing all our energy on how to deal with the negative traits of ADD, we need to spend some time appreciating the positive traits of ADD.
Most importantly share those thoughts.
I promise to make sure Austin and others I know with ADD know how much I appreciate their unique characteristics, I think the world of them and wouldn't change a single thing.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Merry Memory
Last night we had our 'Temple' Christmas gathering. This is now the 2nd Christmas without my Dad, but our first Christmas without our Poppa Temple. I went through a little apprehension after my Dad passed away and wondered how we would fit into the picture last Christmas with Dad gone. I was quickly reassured that despite the fact that my Dad is no longer here, we still very much fit into the family.
We lost our Poppa Temple this spring and with that we lost the common link that held all the extended families together. We no longer would get together to celebrate his birthday. I wondered what would become of this 'Temple' family.
Even without losing family members, as the years go by the families grow and our lives get busy. I wondered if we would find a day that worked for our Christmas gathering.
Despite the snow and rain storm we had yesterday we were all able to get together under one roof and celebrate our Christmas. It was so nice to be together with a family that I grew up with as a small child to now a woman with children of my own.
Grandma, Poppa and Dad were not here physically but I know they were watching and were proud of the fact that our family made the effort to get together.
The part that made is the most special was the little kids. To see the cousins play so well together, their excitement at the Christmas season, giving and receiving those special little gifts. It brought back memories of my own Christmas memories in my Grandparents house opening presents with my cousins, seeing all my Aunt's and Uncle's.
It was a sad moment thinking about the family that is no longer with us to share these special times, but also such happiness and joy sharing new memories with an old family.
My mind was brought back to a wonderful Disney character with a great quote:
Lilo (from Lilo & Stitch): "Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind.... or forgotten."
I am comforted in my Merry Memory that our family while it was changed is still a family and nobody got left behind or forgotten.
We lost our Poppa Temple this spring and with that we lost the common link that held all the extended families together. We no longer would get together to celebrate his birthday. I wondered what would become of this 'Temple' family.
Even without losing family members, as the years go by the families grow and our lives get busy. I wondered if we would find a day that worked for our Christmas gathering.
Despite the snow and rain storm we had yesterday we were all able to get together under one roof and celebrate our Christmas. It was so nice to be together with a family that I grew up with as a small child to now a woman with children of my own.
Grandma, Poppa and Dad were not here physically but I know they were watching and were proud of the fact that our family made the effort to get together.
The part that made is the most special was the little kids. To see the cousins play so well together, their excitement at the Christmas season, giving and receiving those special little gifts. It brought back memories of my own Christmas memories in my Grandparents house opening presents with my cousins, seeing all my Aunt's and Uncle's.
It was a sad moment thinking about the family that is no longer with us to share these special times, but also such happiness and joy sharing new memories with an old family.
My mind was brought back to a wonderful Disney character with a great quote:
Lilo (from Lilo & Stitch): "Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind.... or forgotten."
I am comforted in my Merry Memory that our family while it was changed is still a family and nobody got left behind or forgotten.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Sunny with cloudy periods
I feel like a weather forecaster describing my life. Lately it has been sunny with cloudy periods. I am trying to enjoy every minute of the sunlight when it is here.
The sunlight is the wonderful holiday I was just on, the laughter and memories that I have from the time spent with my husband, daughter and friends. It is the healthy children that I have. It is the unbreakable bond that I share with my husband, whose quirky sense of humour matches me so well.
The sunlight is also the upcoming Christmas season and spirit that is catching on. It is the wonderful group of friends that I have and can count on for anything. Their support and the other sunniness in my life helps me through the cloudy patches.
Luckily the cloudy patches are fleeting. And thankfully there are no storms in the forecast.
The sunlight is the wonderful holiday I was just on, the laughter and memories that I have from the time spent with my husband, daughter and friends. It is the healthy children that I have. It is the unbreakable bond that I share with my husband, whose quirky sense of humour matches me so well.
The sunlight is also the upcoming Christmas season and spirit that is catching on. It is the wonderful group of friends that I have and can count on for anything. Their support and the other sunniness in my life helps me through the cloudy patches.
Luckily the cloudy patches are fleeting. And thankfully there are no storms in the forecast.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Welcome home
We landed back into Canada late Saturday night. I was tired after the delays but still able to enjoy the excitement of coming home. The holiday was great but I was so looking forward to spending Sunday with the family putting up the Christmas tree and celebrating Austin's 17th birthday.
I phoned to wish him a Happy Birthday in the evening and he was enjoying his birthday with some friends over so I didn't talk for long. I had made arrangements with him and Nuckter earlier and checked in several times over our vacation to make sure that it was still going to happen.
I am happy to hear that Austin came for a supper visit with the little kids while we were in vacation, but I cannot tell you how much it has ached my heart today that he didn't show up.
I have tried to keep busy (luckily there is a crap load of stuff to do after you return from a week of holidays), but still so very sad.
The tree went up, all the ornaments were hung (even though we left his ornaments until later in the day just in case)....the birthday gift sits here, the special card I was so wanting to share with him remains sealed.
No phone call, no text, nothing.
This is a sobering reminder that while Austin is still my son and a part of our family, he is no longer in the same capacity that he was even a year ago.
I would like to think it is just him growing up, but I know it's growing apart.
I phoned to wish him a Happy Birthday in the evening and he was enjoying his birthday with some friends over so I didn't talk for long. I had made arrangements with him and Nuckter earlier and checked in several times over our vacation to make sure that it was still going to happen.
I am happy to hear that Austin came for a supper visit with the little kids while we were in vacation, but I cannot tell you how much it has ached my heart today that he didn't show up.
I have tried to keep busy (luckily there is a crap load of stuff to do after you return from a week of holidays), but still so very sad.
The tree went up, all the ornaments were hung (even though we left his ornaments until later in the day just in case)....the birthday gift sits here, the special card I was so wanting to share with him remains sealed.
No phone call, no text, nothing.
This is a sobering reminder that while Austin is still my son and a part of our family, he is no longer in the same capacity that he was even a year ago.
I would like to think it is just him growing up, but I know it's growing apart.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)