The two words mean two very different things. I am ok being by myself, alone, content with the moment. What fills me with sadness is the feeling of loneliness, especially when you are with other people.
This week I had a neurologist appointment which I was very anxious about. I couldn't convey my fears and concerns to my friends and family. After the appointment I had a lot of information from the doctor to process but no one to process it with. This made me feel very alone with my MS. It ended up where an entire day passed where my husband didn't ask about my appointment and I didn't initiate the conversation. The more time that passed the harder it became to open up and let him in.
While I would never wish this disease on anyone, it hurts knowing that while those that love me will always support me they will never understand. I know this because I used to be just like them. Listening to my Mom speak of her MS I heard what she said, felt sadness for what she was going through but I could never truly understand......until now.
I can share my fears, my feelings, my thoughts but my friends and family can't understand and that makes me alone and lonely.
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