Yesterday I overflowed with happiness and pride.
I watched my oldest child walk across the stage and receive his Grade 12 Diploma as well as a Student of the Year award for Drafting. He did it! We did it! He is a grade 12 graduate and no one can take that away from him.
He looked so handsome and mature. As much as he looks like his Dad I found him reminding me of my Dad. His hair, his smile, the way his eyes lit up. And I know my Dad would have been so proud.
At the end of the evening Austin came home to change and I gave him his cards and gifts. I gave him a special card just from me and I included a print out of this blog entry for him.
The Good Things
He read it, really took the time to read it and thanked me with a shy proud smile. I hope he understands how much I love him and recognize the Good Things in him.
Austin is starting a new chapter of his life, but I will still be here....always be here.....guiding, supporting and loving unconditionally.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Monday, June 11, 2012
Weak In The Knees
I used to think of that term differently than I do now.
I have taken a break from my blog because this is the place where I am honest with myself and I wasn't ready for that.
I have become weak in the knees. But this isn't from feelings of love, it is from Multiple Sclerosis.
I hate the new symptoms of this disease just as much as I hate the ones that have lingered for over a year. To be honest I think I prefer the lingering well known symptoms. I have gotten used to them, I know what to expect, how to adapt to the short comings they cause me. Me and the numbness, tingling, tremors etc. have learned to coexist.
What I haven't gotten used to is my unsteady feet, falling down stairs and the heavy weighted legs that I have been experiencing. Walking, or more specifically not walking is my biggest fear with MS. I am not ready for that.
This is a big week for me, two doctors appointments to go over the recent MRI and also to confirm whether the CCSVI procedure that I had done in December still has things flowing good. The other reason for the appointments is to get my return to work papers approved and signed by my doctors. I don't want to tell them about the increasing tremors in my right side or the legs that just give out sometimes. That would risk my plans of returning to work.
What I really want the doctors to say is that they were wrong and I dont have MS. I will agree to something, but something that is curable and not progressive. Not this numb, tingling weak kneed disease I have.
I have taken a break from my blog because this is the place where I am honest with myself and I wasn't ready for that.
I have become weak in the knees. But this isn't from feelings of love, it is from Multiple Sclerosis.
I hate the new symptoms of this disease just as much as I hate the ones that have lingered for over a year. To be honest I think I prefer the lingering well known symptoms. I have gotten used to them, I know what to expect, how to adapt to the short comings they cause me. Me and the numbness, tingling, tremors etc. have learned to coexist.
What I haven't gotten used to is my unsteady feet, falling down stairs and the heavy weighted legs that I have been experiencing. Walking, or more specifically not walking is my biggest fear with MS. I am not ready for that.
This is a big week for me, two doctors appointments to go over the recent MRI and also to confirm whether the CCSVI procedure that I had done in December still has things flowing good. The other reason for the appointments is to get my return to work papers approved and signed by my doctors. I don't want to tell them about the increasing tremors in my right side or the legs that just give out sometimes. That would risk my plans of returning to work.
What I really want the doctors to say is that they were wrong and I dont have MS. I will agree to something, but something that is curable and not progressive. Not this numb, tingling weak kneed disease I have.
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