Triggers

The past month has been filled with many triggers of memories from the early stage of my MS attack last year.  These triggers are normal and the memories aren't bad.  The memories remind me how bad it was but it also comforts me knowing how far I have come.

The kids birthdays were a blur where I was unable to help with the craft activities, cut the cake, write the cards etc.  This year McKinley picked the Teppanyaki restaurant where they grill right at your table and give you chop sticks.  Tay picked the same place for her birthday last May and I remember struggling to eat using a fork with my left hand.  This visit I even tried the chopsticks.  It wasnt the smoothest but it wasnt horrible either.  I felt like everyone else and it felt good.

The movie theatre triggered a memory.  I few weeks ago I picked popcorn kernels out of the bag one by one with my left hand. I enjoyed the movie, but I also got a secret pleasure grasping the popcorn with my fingers.

Another trigger I had recently was putting on gloves.  I havent worn gloves forever because my fingers wouldnt cooperate but last night I borrowed my hubands gloves and I was able to slide each finger in without too much difficulty. 

I am thankful for all the improvements I have experienced.  Having said that the triggers also make me think about how long I will be able to enjoy these things....they make me wonder when my next attack will be....what ability will I lose?

Being the eternal optimist I still acknowledge the triggers and memories but pray for healthy and happy memories for a long time.