With the recent anniversary of my MS diagnosis I have been thinking about that moment.
I thought the memorable moment that would stick in my mind would be hearing those words from my doctor...."You have MS"
But while I do recall him saying those words to me, it isn't that moment.
The moment that sticks in my mind is minutes after I left my doctors office and was sitting in my car. The tears started, I couldn't stop the flow and I couldn't catch my breath. I was panicked and while I had assumed I had MS, the harsh truth of those words spoken by my doctor were finally sinking in. And in that moment I experienced that moment.
A simple text from a friend, " Be strong...whatever the results you are the same person walking out of there as you were going in".
Not only did that text help me in that moment to pull it together, to drive home, to call my husband, to pick up my kids, to live my life that first day. It has also become that moment that I refer to even months and years later in my dark times. That moment has offered me reassurance and comfort when I needed it most.
I could say that this friend probably has no idea the impact she has made on my life and how that moment has given me so much, but I think she knows. I hope she knows.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Slipped my mind
Last Thursday, March 7th was the 2 year anniversary of when I was told I had MS. I remember clearly sitting in my doctors office and hearing those words. Feeling like I couldn't catch my breath and that my whole world was crashing in.
Last year on my first anniversary I was clearly aware of the date. The days leading up to it the signifigance weighed heavily on my mind. I remember thinking I had somehow failed with repairing and healing the damage to my body after the one year mark.
This year, my 2nd anniversary was so different. I no longer thought of the date as such an important number. Thursday came and went without giving it any extra thought. It was a regular day with work, family and life.
I think the biggest thing that I realized was that I am learning to live and accept how MS is a part of my life. It isn't because I am no longer dealing with the symptoms of my disease, but more because I am accepting that my life has changed and will forever be changed.
The issues I have with my bladder, the parathesia, the fatigue.....they are all things I am adjusting my life to without focusing on the anniversary milestones. I am paying far more attention to what my body tells me and less attention to the dates on the calendar.
Am I well balanced and completely accepting of my MS. No, I am far from it. But Ido think this year I am in a better place than I was last year so it is a good anniversary.
Last year on my first anniversary I was clearly aware of the date. The days leading up to it the signifigance weighed heavily on my mind. I remember thinking I had somehow failed with repairing and healing the damage to my body after the one year mark.
This year, my 2nd anniversary was so different. I no longer thought of the date as such an important number. Thursday came and went without giving it any extra thought. It was a regular day with work, family and life.
I think the biggest thing that I realized was that I am learning to live and accept how MS is a part of my life. It isn't because I am no longer dealing with the symptoms of my disease, but more because I am accepting that my life has changed and will forever be changed.
The issues I have with my bladder, the parathesia, the fatigue.....they are all things I am adjusting my life to without focusing on the anniversary milestones. I am paying far more attention to what my body tells me and less attention to the dates on the calendar.
Am I well balanced and completely accepting of my MS. No, I am far from it. But Ido think this year I am in a better place than I was last year so it is a good anniversary.
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