Yesterday marked my grandmas 86th birthday. The woman is one of my anchors in life. I find after each conversation with her that I feel a sense of peace from her. She has so much faith and wisdom, and I feel blessed to be able to share that with her.
It is the sad and unfortunate situation of my Moms failing health that has brought us even closer, but I am grateful for the time and even more for knowledge I have gained from her.
When my Dad died I remember seeing the saddness in her eyes, but also the faith and acceptance that things are the way they were supposed to be. At that point I noticed her faith and acceptance, but my anger over my dads unexpected death prevented me from truly understanding it.
I am beginning to understand the faith and acceptance, but I think it only comes with maturity. I think I have matured over the past four years since my fathers death. I have hit many of the stages of greif, sometimes more than once, but I also believe I have gained a sense of peace and acceptance in my fathers death. I don't understand the "why" of my fathers death, but I do know that he is at peace and watching over us.
I spend many hours sitting with my mom. Time spent in conversation with her and other time in the dark while she sleeps. I know she is comforted by the fact she is not alone. Almost nightly I speak with my grandmother and share my Moms condition and day with her. I look forward to those calls. We have shared tears and laughs. I know while we don't know the "why" of any of this that my grandma has faith that things will be the way they should. I am thankful for the faith she shares with me.
My wish for my grandmas birthday is more laughter than tears, more happiness than sorrow and many more good memories with family and friends.
Happy birthday grandma.
